I kind of suck at this.

Blogging, I mean. I'm glad that I wrote that post about the topical posts that I'm 'writing' on April Fool's Day because they may never happen. I haven't spent another second on either post. The atheism post will happen eventually in some form, but I'm going to reduce my post on Tiny Toons to the following statement: I think a large subset of our generation's sense of humor is derived from Tiny Toons and Animaniacs. I will offer no evidence to support this statement at this time, but if you watched those shows with the same fervor I did, I have a feeling you'd agree.

I've been kind of up and down lately. I had a date recently, which I think went really well, but having been on a date at all brought up all of these issues and concerns with which I haven't had to deal lately because I haven't been dating. It's so rare that I find someone that I'm actually legitimately interested in that I think I may get too excited. I also find the whole practice of dating somewhat foreign since I don't find myself doing it often. I'm of the mind that if you like someone, you're up front and say so and move on from there. This hasn't always worked well for me in the past as I think that sometimes people aren't used to that sort of directness. Of course, other times, I behave in the exact opposite manner, and I don't tell someone that I'm interested and then they end up dating someone else. I find this whole process incredibly interesting, and I see how people behave in this arena, and I'm confused, and then I see how I behave in this arena, and I'm even more confused, but it's an ever-evolving process that I just have to dive into and figure out as I go. A good friend who is older recently told me that you feel the same way when you're forty-five and navigating these waters as you do when you're twenty-four, so she said not to worry and just go for it. The not worrying thing I will probably have a problem with as I can get pretty anxious about things sometimes, but I'm certainly willing to try it out. I like this guy, but we've only been on one date. I hope to go on more. If it works out, that's wonderful. If not, then at least we had one kick-ass date, from which, like all life experiences, I can learn.

So as I was saying before I went off on a tangent, I've been kind of up and down recently. Part of this is because I'm nervous about my decision to explore the dating world again, but the biggest catalyst for my vacillating disposition is that I sent in my deferral form to the New School on the fifteenth, which finalized my decision to stay here another year. When I sent them the fax with my credit card information to pay the deferral deposit, my heart sank a bit, because even though I am thoroughly enjoying my time here in Birmingham, and I love my friends deeply, I'm still feeling a little stuck. I'm hoping some projects I'm about to start working on will help me feel differently, but I am feeling it now nonetheless. I keep asking myself, "Is it becoming stagnant, or is it just a brief pause?" 'It' has several referents.

In other news, I'm still fumbling my way through my attempts at learning Reason, which I'm hoping will help me in my songwriting and recording. I'm going to have to get through this learning curve first though.

Also, Friday night was the third Kids Got the Disco, and it was tons of fun. We had right around 200 people come again, and everyone was dancing and looked like they were having a great time. This event is becoming a highlight of my month, so if you haven't been, I highly recommend that you come to the next one on May 16th.